


Is It Okay To Fall For You?

by mochicheekies



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bittersweet Ending, Bottom Byun Baekhyun, Christmas Fluff, Crying, Curses, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feels, First Love, Fluff and Smut, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, I Made Myself Cry, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Memory Loss, Presents, Sad and Happy, Top Park Chanyeol, Weight Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:08:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26339275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochicheekies/pseuds/mochicheekies
Summary: Baekhyun could be best described as a force of nature. So harsh and sudden yet mesmerizing and unforgettable.No matter where he went, he left an impact too big to be able to describe with words, his smile being in a constant quarrel with the sun.For Chanyeol, it wasn't any different.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 16
Kudos: 45





	Is It Okay To Fall For You?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my lovelies.
> 
> This story was written during a bad week of myself and my health. 
> 
> It was my ventile for the sadness I felt and it helped me to get over this. 
> 
> I hope I touch your hearts with this and if I do, I would love to read your thoughts. 
> 
> I'm also on Twitter.  
> @softformochibbh
> 
> !! DISCLAIMER!! This is a work of fiction and has no relation to reality nor the people involved

Baekhyun could be best described as a force of nature. So harsh and sudden yet mesmerizing and unforgettable. 

No matter where he went, he left an impact too big to be able to describe with words, his smile being in a constant quarrel with the sun. 

People automatically loved him, praised him, wanted to be there for him. He had this magic that spread with every step he took and made him absolutely loveable. 

For Chanyeol, it wasn't any different. 

The first time he was allowed to lay eyes on the other, his heart dared to skip more than once at a time, hands shaking from the nervousness that creeped up through his veins. 

He indeed also left an impact in his life, one so big that he couldn't imagine his life without him, one that would always be a space reserved for the smaller, no matter what would happen. 

No one would be able to fill that void, no matter how nice or beautiful. 

No one would ever be able to replace the love he was able to feel for Baekhyun, was allowed to show him. 

Fate though, had never been on their side. 

✿

Their first meeting had been as awkward as it could have been, with Chanyeol throwing coffee all over himself, hot liquid drenching his white button up, completely ruining the work clothes he was supposed to wear for another three hours. 

Feeling the coffee coming in contact with his skin, he had been ready to burst out in pain wouldn't it have been for the little bell above the door, ringing once, twice and then revealing a smaller guy, wrapped up in a scarf and beanie. 

There wasn't much visible of his face, but his eyes were as beautiful as ambers, glistening with tears due to him having to sneeze loudly, body shivering momentarily. 

It took Chanyeol longer than intended, to pick up the cup that was still on the dark wooden floor, coffee stains plastered all over his shirt, black hair messy from his frantic movements, soon enough looking back at the boy who was giggling now, obviously entertained by the taller's behavior. 

And wow, that smile truly dazzled as bright as diamonds. 

" H-Hi, um, I mean w-welcome. Can I d-do something to you? I mean for you, oh my God..." 

Walking behind the counter once more, to put the cup aside and hide the bottom half of his shirt, hot liquid slowly cooling down against his skin, he briefly slapped his face, trying to calm down his heart. 

Seeing the smaller guy now having walked closer, he watched him remove the scarf from around his throat, revealing the most beautiful lips Chanyeol had ever seen, eyes fixed on them way too long. 

" Could you make me a iced caramel macchiato?" 

" Yes yes o-of course I can" 

Frantically reaching for a new cup, he placed it under one of their coffee machines, sincerely trying not to break their eye contact, but failing immensely when his hand almost ended under the hot stream of liquid. 

How can someone be this stupid? 

Deciding to focus properly on his task at hand, he sprayed a little whipped cream on top as well, caramel drizzled cutely all over, before he had enough confidence to walk back to the counter, realizing that the guy had been staring at him, slight blush making his cheeks look even softer. 

" Here you go, um, do you want anything else maybe?"

The weather outside had been unpredictable today, in the morning the sun was shining brightly, drying the last remains of the storm from the previous day, now though, it was pouring, dark clouds demolishing the natural light. 

" A shelter from the rain would be nice. Can I stay here for a little more?" 

Unable to not not look at his eyes and the way they seemed to glow beautifully, Chanyeol ended up nodding his head a bit too hard, glad when he was called over to a table. 

Wouldn't it have been for his coworker Kyungsoo, who ended up giving him a harsh slap against the head, he probably would have continued swaying in his bubble, mesmerized by the guy's beauty. 

" What has gotten into you? You're unfocused and your clothes are ruined Yeol" 

" Have you seen him?" 

Missing the confused glance of his best friend, he leaned against the broom he had been tasked to hold, smile ghosting over his lips. 

" Whom?" 

" The most beautiful person I have ever seen" 

✿

The smaller guy truly left him breathless, without even doing that much, presence itself enough to make his head spin. 

All good things had to come to an end though and sadly enough, he watched him leave their store when the rain finally had stopped, empty cup left on the counter. 

Saying his heart did not drop, would have been a lie, wanting to punch himself for being so awkward instead of confident, but maybe luck truly had been on his side because the moment he had reached their entry, he saw a small note peeking out from under the cup. 

I'm Baekhyun by the way.  
Why don't you tell me your name the next time we meet? 

And maybe just maybe, for once he felt like he wasn't as bad as he thought he was, fingers wrapping around the small note before slipping it into his back pocket. 

✿

As if it had been planned, on another fine autumn afternoon, with the rain crashing on the streets harshly, the doorbell rang, announcing a new costumer, one who was almost completely drenched, water droplets falling from his hair down to his coat. 

And Chanyeol truly had to be careful to not embarrass himself any more than he already did last time, instead smiling at the smaller when he looked up. 

" Seems like, today, the rain was faster than you" 

" Indeed it was. Would it be too much to ask for a towel?" 

Shaking his head softly, he reached under the counter to reveal a whole bunch of towels, making sure to give Baekhyun the softest out of them all. 

" I'm Chanyeol by the way" 

"Chanyeol...It is nice to meet you, again" 

Biting his lips the moment the smaller smiled up at him, it truly felt like an invisible force grabbed his heart and squeezed it tightly between its slender fingers, making him briefly gasp and then nod his head like the fool he was. 

A flower.

The resemblance was terrific. One that bloomed without withering. One that was so beautiful without a single petal falling to the ground. It was reachable. Close almost. But too fragile to touch. At least in his eyes. It was best to leave it on that small windowsill when those few but strong sunbeams wandered over it. Making it look ethereal.

It was best to just look from afar. To not do something that would ruin the atmosphere around it. One that made it glisten with beauty he couldn't quite comprehend. 

But would he be able to not touch it and try to gain its attention? 

Instead of dwelling in his depressing yet beautiful thoughts, he walked over to the coffee machine, deciding to brew a hot chocolate, simply because he couldn't stand seeing Baekhyun shake like a leaf, the towel doing little to nothing to warm him up. 

" I never saw you here before, in this Café I mean. Are you new in town?" 

" Actually, I was in a rush last time and just passed by. Your Café was close to my workplace Chanyeol-ah. I don't regret coming inside though" 

Witnessing the blush ghosting over the smaller guy's cheeks, he bit his lips in thought while bringing the hot cup over to the counter, sliding it towards the other. 

" It's on me. I hope it warms you up" 

✿

Luck never had been on his side.

Being born into a family that dared to fall apart with the smallest of a touch, Baekhyun knew since he was little, nothing good will ever come his way.

Especially when his mother finally opened up and spoke to him, only to burden his tiny heart with the knowledge of a family curse.

One that truly made his eyes tear up and his hands shake, feeling like not only everyone he knew was against him but also the universe itself.

You will never be able to properly fall in love unless you break their heart. No matter how deep your relationship will be, how long you have known each other, the curse will only be gone if you hurt yourself and the person you love.

That itself sounded terribly sad already but what made it worse, was that the person which would have meant a lot to him, would no longer be able to remember him, not their moments together nor touches.

If life had its perks, this was definitely not one one of them.

Growing up with an overall cold and protective attitude, he never wanted to meet a person he would need to hurt, rather choosing a lonely life without anyone close to him.

What he did not expect though, was falling for a stranger.

One that literally took his breath away and made his fingers tingle with delight.

He knew it was wrong to give in to this feeling that seemed to grow stronger, the more he saw the tall man, but for once, he did not care.

Not when Chanyeol was able to make him smile without even doing too much.

✿

It was one fine afternoon, when they did not meet in the Café for the first time, but on the streets, Chanyeol playing with a dog in the park, his dimpled smile so bright that Baekhyun did not dare to move, scared he would fall over his own feet.

Just his mere presence seemed to have such a big impact on his own life that it truly overwhelmed him, fear equaling his need to step closer, until he gained the taller’s attention, their eyes meeting in a soft gaze.

“ Baekhyun-ah?”

“ Good Afternoon Chanyeol. I did not expect to meet you here”

Noticing how neither of them wanted to break the little bubble they were in, Baekhyun involuntarily had to, due to a dog suddenly jumping up his legs.

Small and black, an immense amount of energy, truly a bundle of joy.

“ Oh hello there”

“ That is Toben, my dog. He is a bit wild, I’m sorry if that bothers you” Chanyeol apologized while kneeling down, the dog immediately rushing into his arms, the sight truly to behold.

Something about this situation left Baekhyun’s heart to ache for attention as well, a small smile displayed on his triangle shaped lips.

“ I like him” 

Meeting the other’s gaze once more, he knew Chanyeol wasn’t dumb, seeing the slight blush creeping over his cheeks, his words meaning more than just the dog.

“ I did not expect to meet you here as well, it’s been some time since you visited the Café”

Kneeling down as well, Baekhyun reached his hand out for the small dog to sniff, giggling when he licked over his fingers instead.

“ Work has been keeping me busy lately, sadly. Did you miss me?” he dared to joke, not expecting Chanyeol to almost tumble over, his whole body malfunctioning by what he said.

It was not only adorable, but also endearing, eyes so captivated that he did not notice their close proximity.

“ Is that a yes?”

“ I-, um, you see-”

“ I missed seeing your face as well” he interrupted, glad when he realized his words made the other blush, decorating his cheeks like sweet cherries.

Knowing what he was doing was risky and absolutely irresponsible, Baekhyun tried to focus on other things than his everlasting worries, smiling when Chanyeol did.

“ The first time I saw you, I did not expect you to actually be such a tease, Baekhyun-ah” the taller replied, hands shaking from nervousness, while trying to mask it by holding Toben’s leash.

He knew that the smaller’s presence was out of the ordinary from the start, but never would he have expected to be so captivated, this easily.

Maybe it was meant to be, who knew.

“ I’m not, but you make me want to tease you. Luckily you are not holding a coffee cup today”

Giggling loudly when he could see how red Chanyeol’s head started to be, he stood back up, only leaning down to stroke Toben’s fur, the harsh autumn wind blowing through his already messy brown hair.

The day did not start that good, with the weather playing tricks and his mood walking on a wire rope, but having met the taller truly left him grinning as if he had won the lottery.

“ I sadly have to announce that I have to leave now, Toben is supposed to meet his mommy today” Chanyeol explained, feeding the small dog a treat for being a good boy.

Nevertheless, he did not see the brief disappointment in Baekhyun’s eyes, the fear of being interested in a taken man.

“ His mommy?”

“ Oh yes! My mom. She is taking care of him at the moment because I am too busy with my studies”

Hearing his explanation, it was actually embarrassing how relieved Baekhyun ended up to be, his smile way too big for a conversation about the other’s mother.

“ I see. How about we exchange phone numbers then? You know, to always be updated about your new coffee sortiment”

Biting his lips at his own foolish attempt at flirting, he was more than delighted when Chanyeol simply smiled and handed him his phone, the smaller quickly typing in his number and saving his name as ‘Baekhyunnie’.

Fully knowing that such a type of endearment was daring, the small chuckle he was rewarded with though, was worth it.

“ I will write you then, Baekhyunnie”

✿

Before meeting Baekhyun, Chanyeol never would have thought that days could pass by so goddamn slow, every minute feeling like hours of endless longing.

It had taken him three whole days to bring up the courage and write the smaller, not missing the chance of making a fool out of himself, at least knowing that he was able to make the other smile.

-

Chanyeol 3:58 pm  
Hi! I’m sorry that I only write you now, but I wanted to ask you out.

Chanyeol 3:59 pm  
I mean, of course only if you want to. I’m sorry, I’m so bad at stuff like this.

Baekhyunnie 4:00 pm  
Who says I would not want to? How does this Saturday sound? At the Park we met last time? <3

Chanyeol 4:01 pm  
That sounds awesome. I will see you then, I guess <3

-

Well, Saturday was here now and no matter how often he looked at his clock, the time did not seem to hurry up.

A date was something he totally was not used to, the shy attitude he impersonated sadly enough being one of his insecurities.

Which is why he also struggled with the choice of clothes, his closet consisting of tons of hoodies and comfortable jeans. 

Nevertheless, in the end he chose one of his few black button ups as well as dark jeans, completing his look with his brown coat, a scarf and beanie.

✿

The weather outside, for once, was on their side, sun beaming down brightly while the leaves rustled through the streets, the way to the park shorter than he had remembered.

His heart betrayed him the moment he laid eyes on Baekhyun, who was sitting on one of the many benches, scarf hiding half of his face, beating so wildly that he had to calm down first before being able to walk over to where he sat.

“ I’m sorry, did you wait long?”

“ Oh, no no don’t worry. I, I actually was too early” Baekhyun replied, making it obvious that he had been just as excited while standing up, scarf getting stuck between the bench.

It made him blush furiously, now being the one who embarrassed himself, but witnessing Chanyeol carefully helping him, the smaller had to bite his lips, heart pounding against his ribcage.

“ There you go. I guess we are both a little clumsy?”

“ Seems like it, maybe that is why we get along so well?” Baekhyun teased, but realized that the time they spent staring into each other's eyes, seriously was way too long.

Clearing his throat to break the tension, he watched Chanyeol scratch his neck awkwardly, before he decided to point towards the Han River, nudging the taller’s shoulder.

“ Let’s go for a walk”

✿

It was actually really relaxing to just walk beside the other, their height difference offering Chanyeol the opportunity to look down over and over again, just finding it adorable how his hair was moving every time the wind blew through it.

Eyes glancing at his tiny hands, shivering from the cold, actually just wanting to reach for them to warm him up.

His nervousness held him back though, instead staring towards the river.

“ What do you think about italian food? “

“ Oh! I love pasta. Why? Do you want to go eat it with me?" Baekhyun replied, hope in his eyes so obvious that Chanyeol just wanted to squish his cheeks.

“ Yes. I know a good place actually. So i thought we could go there?”

“ Totally. I would love that “

✿

Surrounded by quiet chattering and candle light, Chanyeol was glad he had chosen this place for them, the atmosphere so warm and comfortable that he actually started to loosen up a little.

Watching Baekhyun go through the menu, he leaned forward without a second thought, pointing at a certain dish.

“ The spinach pasta is really good here, if you like that”

Suddenly being faced with beautiful amber eyes looking into his own, his breath got stuck in his throat, lips dry from keeping his mouth open for too long.

“ Really? I actually love spinach. I think I will order this one, what will you choose?”

Clearing his throat and briefly looking around the restaurant, seeing couples and families enjoying their meals, he opened up his own menu, pointing at the vegetable pizza and then daring to gaze at Baekhyun.

“ This one. You can have a piece of it later, if you want to?”

“ I would love to”

✿

Dates always were something big and thrilling in Chanyeol’s eyes, magical to some extent.

Encountering his first real date with Baekhyun though, made him believe that it was the best thing that could have happened to him.

They had their fun while eating, sharing a glass of wine or two before deciding to leave and walk through the town, lights and loud chatter making the streets come alive.

The air started to be colder the more the night came around, the taller’s eyes lingering on Baekhyun’s frame every two seconds to simply make sure he was okay, only to witness his hands shaking once more.

It was actually adorable, knowing he was this sensitive to cold, simultaneously though Chanyeol craved just reaching for his hand, holding it until he knew he was warming up.

Several minutes passed by, of him just watching the other smiling at the street artists and decorated windows, before he just went for it, taking a big step forwards and gently intertwine their fingers, a blush immediately climbing up his neck.

“ Y-you seemed to feel cold” he said, an argument so weak that he actually had to laugh along, when Baekhyun giggled, heart beating so fast that he momentarily forgot what he wanted to say, instead focusing on the way the smaller squeezed his hand.

“ Thank you for being so attentive. I really am feeling cold, but you’re really warm Chanyeol-ah”

Grinning from ear to ear, like a love struck child, he made sure to squeeze his hand as well, just to know this was really happening before they continued their stride, eventually stopping in front of some street artists, watching them dance to their own music.

A lot of people actually joined them and it was a wholesome moment, especially because of the ambiente, fairy light being hung up in the trees.

Until, one of them walked over to where they stood, wanting them to join and without a second thought, Chanyeol dared to gently pull Baekhyun with him until they were in the middle of everything.

“ You can dance??”

Looking at the smaller, who seemed starstruck with his eyes shining hopefully, he smiled, face feeling like he was overheating.

“ I’m honestly a really bad dancer”

Laughing along when his date giggled wholeheartedly, he dared to wrap his arm around his waist and reached with the other one for the smaller's hand, intertwining their fingers, slowly stepping forward and back, trying to find their rhythm to the music.

“ Hey, you really are not that bad” Baekhyun whispered, lips curved so prettily that it was hard for Chanyeol to not stare at them.

“ I’m trying really hard, for you”

“ Well, then i appreciate your efforts dear Sir”

Snorting at the way he was being teased, Chanyeol decided to be a bit more confident about the way he acted, holding onto the smaller’s waist tightly and then twirling him around, delighted when it made Baekhyun grin so brightly.

What he didn’t expect though, was for them to suddenly be so close, once he had pulled him back, noses brushing against each other, breath mingling together.

It was as if what was happening around them did not exist for a moment, only them two and their soft glances, so close yet so far from a kiss.

Still, Chanyeol dared to lean closer only to watch Baekhyun bite his own lips and run off, soft laughter making him gawk and watch him walk over to the river once more, hopeful eyes finding the taller’s when he turned around.

It left him speechless, both because of his never ending teasing and because they had been so close, even if it was only for a second.

✿

Even though Baekhyun seriously did not want their evening to end, they walked closer and closer towards his apartment, trees rustling from the night air blowing through them.

His hand was engulfed by Chanyeol’s once more, the taller’s thumb rubbing over his skin every time he shivered, leaving a small smile on his lips.

Now that he could see his house in the distance though, he sighed in disappointment, briefly gazing up at the other.

“ I had a lot of fun today, Chanyeol-ah. Even if you have two left feet”

Giggling softly when he saw the shock on his face, he nudged their shoulders together, showing him that he was just joking.

“ You sure know how to hurt a man”

A sudden pull to reality made Baekhyun think about those words way too long, memories of the curse daring to ruin his evening, instead shaking his head to get rid of those, moving to stand in front of Chanyeol.

“ Can i make it up to you?”

“ What are you thinking about?” the taller asked, eyes so gentle and big that the smaller almost got lost in them once more, heartbeat quickening the more he realized how quiet it actually was between them.

Bouncing back and forth on his heels, he bit his lips while taking in every small detail of Chanyeol’s face, starting from the mole on his nose to the dimples that only showed when he smiled.

It made his nervousness more bearable while he moved his hands up on the taller’s shoulders, just going for it and pressing their lips together.

A feeling he could not describe with words, his whole body shivering from the way his warmth felt against his mouth, hands that wrapped around his waist making him smile.

Who cared if it happened this early in their relationship when it just felt right?

When it felt right for the first time in his life?

His hands soon enough curled into Chanyeol’s soft black hair, loving the way it felt against his fingers, not daring to break their moment and instead pressing tiny kisses against his plump lips, until his breath truly was too short to continue.

What he expected would be awkward, turned out to be the most beautiful and comfortable moment he could imagine, face beaming with a smile that battled the stars up in the sky.

“ How was that? Did I make it up to you?”

“ You did more than just that Baekhyun-ah” Chanyeol replied, big warm hands cupping the smaller’s face so gently that he truly did not want their moment to end, knowing they both felt the same thing, felt the spark that went off the moment they had kissed.

“ Will you walk me to my door Chanyeol?”

✿

Imagining a first date to being this perfect, had never been one of Chanyeol's thoughts, not when Baekhyun was a surprise himself, turning their day into something magical. 

Even if hours had passed by already, sleep didn't find him and left him to roll around on his mattress, his pajamas inside out due to the very distracting memory of their lips pressed against each other. 

It made him absentmindedly stroke over his own, smile weak but meaningful while trying to memorize every small detail, from the smaller's warmth, to their hands being intertwined. 

A feeling like that was something he didn't want to let go of and he was more than delighted when it grew, the more they met, Baekhyun showing him a new side of him every time they were able to spend a day together. 

He was perfect in every sense of way, starting from his character to his behavior and ending at his soul. 

Beautiful like the stars hanging up in the night sky, charming like every poetic book combined, lovable like every flower on this planet. 

Dangerous could describe it best. 

The way his feelings grew stronger, happiness seeping through his veins as soon as he was able to hear the smaller's voice. 

And it was one fine evening, while they were sitting up on a hill, skyline in front of them, that he chose to jump over his own insecurities, making Baekhyun feel just how intense the energy between them started to be. 

Winter was coming closer the more they met up, the leaves now decorating the streets, sun weakly shining through them every time he had been outside. 

Now though, the night had brought cold air and the blanket that was wrapped around them did little to nothing in helping Baekhyun to warm up. 

He truly was one of a kind. 

" How about now?" 

" Still a bit cold Chanyeol-ah, but I love this moment. I couldn't care less about myself" 

Smiling at his words, he leaned down to open the bag he had brought along, thermo flask leading Baekhyun to gaze softly at the taller, curiosity evident. 

" I have hot chocolate" 

Smiling, when he heard Baekhyun's giggles, he carefully twisted it open, pouring the liquid into the lid and handed it over, adoring the sight of the smaller carefully blowing the heat away. 

Maybe it was the ambience itself, but it boosted Chanyeol's confidence, heart beating erratically while he waited for the other to finish up, finding his hand rather fast. 

" Baekhyun-ah, can I be honest with you?" 

" You always can be" 

The nervousness that led his lips to quiver was ridiculously strong, eyes searching for Baekhyun's until he was brave enough to voice out the words he had been holding in for some time now. 

" You struck me like lightning, the first time I saw you" 

Taking a deep breath and instead focusing on their hands, he gently drew lines on the other's palm, more than once forming a small heart. 

" I adored you the second I met your eyes and it's so much stronger now. Baekhyun-ah, I-...I really like you a lot and I wanted to know if you would like to be my b-boyfriend" 

Hands shaking now as well, he was glad he could hide it by holding the smaller's, eyes gazing into Baekhyun's while the hope in his chest was growing rapidly. 

Until, there were giggles. 

So soft that he honestly couldn't help but be in awe. 

When they stopped, he suddenly had lips on his, gentle and tender to the point he wondered if it was really happening, left hand coming up to shakily touch the other's cheek, cupping it. 

" Chanyeol-ah, I would feel honored to be your boyfriend. I cannot describe the way you make me feel" 

And if dreams really were able to come true, this was one of them, because it led to another kiss, one soaked in emotions that weren't able to be spoken out. 

One that made their bodies heat up, without the help of hot chocolate and their giggles to resonate around the quiet space they had settled in. 

✿

With every good thing, there had to be a bad one and that was the first real sign of fear. 

It came abruptly and it left Baekhyun to shoot up on his bed, hands shaking like crazy, heart hurting so immensely that his breath got stuck in his throat. 

How foolish to think everything would go well. 

No matter how much he had tried to suppress the thing that would destroy him the most, it came closer without a notice, grabbing his throat in it's rough claws. 

Scrambling for his phone, he dialed the first number he could think of, knowing right now, he needed help to calm down, nothing more. 

" Grandmother, I think it is happening" 

" Baekhyun??…Calm down and tell me what is going on" 

Feeling the sweat roll down his forehead to his neck, he truly felt like he could faint any second, the pain so heavy that his fingers went numb. 

" My heart, it hurts so much" 

" So you met them. Tell me, is it serious between you two?" 

The simple mention of Chanyeol weirdly enough made the pain subside the slightest bit, lips tingling from the kiss they had shared only hours prior this conversation. 

" I like him, I like him so much…"

" You know our fate. It will only get worse, the pain and side effects. You also know what you will have to do when the time comes, don't you?" 

Being forced to remember every little word he had been taught, made Baekhyun's eyes teary, hands now shaking from disappointment and sadness, fate truly being evil. 

Nevertheless, he knew no matter how hard he would try to suppress it, it would catch up one day, catching him off guard. 

" Yes Grandmother. I remember everything" 

✿

Christmas was probably the taller's favorite event ever, especially because of the warmth that spread through his body, everytime he listened to music or saw the town being decorated. 

It was both so comforting and thrilling, the excitement growing with every passing year, this time though, he would spend it with someone special and that thought alone made him smile brighter than the fairy lights in their Café. 

Four months passed by like a flash, Baekhyun constantly making his heart ache with unshed emotions and need. 

They were taking it slow though and the taller couldn't have been more grateful, nervousness about to top over every time they kissed. 

Now though, with his coat wrapped tightly around himself, shop locked early, he couldn't await their evening together, the slight snow that fell down on earth making his cheeks tingle with love. 

Knowing he still had a lot to prepare, Chanyeol immediately got to work when he entered his apartment, the living room decorated in red and golden colors, a Christmas tree in one corner with one gift already laying under it. 

Unsure on what to expect, he had already made sure the couch was covered with blankets and pillows, knowing the smaller loved feeling warm, the kitchen full of baking ingredients as well as candies.

Wanting their first Christmas together to be special. More than that. 

Ending up dressed in a black button up and jeans, hair gelled back, his hands were shaking with anxiousness, only waiting for the doorbell to ring and when it did, he rushed towards it like an excited puppy. 

Baekhyun was beautiful.

He always was, but right now something about the way he had dressed up made Chanyeol's heart squeeze so softly that he couldn't wrap his head around the current. 

Hair messy from the wind, his nose and cheeks were red due to the cold, bright smile plastered on his heart shaped lips while he stepped closer, stealing a small kiss from the taller, who was frozen for several seconds. 

" You dressed up for me?" 

Nodding his head absentmindedly, he snapped back to reality, carefully closing the door and then helped Baekhyun out of his coat, daring to plant another kiss against his tender neck. 

" All for you" 

✿

With the slight scent of cinnamon and chocolate in the air, Baekhyun honestly couldn't have asked for a better evening, his eyes lingering on the taller and the way he was mixing the cookie dough. 

Eyebrows furrowed and tongue peeking out, adorable to the point the smaller wanted to coe. 

Instead of that though, he leaned against the counter, acting like he didn't see a glimpse of the gift under the tree while giggling at his lover, flour all over his cheeks. 

" Let me add the chocolate chips" 

Excitedly ripping the package open, he carefully poured them into the bowl, purposely leaning against Chanyeol's chest while doing it, smiling when he saw how flustered he actually was. 

Deciding not to tease him, Baekhyun instead reached for the little radio in the corner of the counter and switched it on, old Christmas music filling the room with excitement and love. 

Especially when Chanyeol suddenly turned around, looking like he wanted to ask something, but decided it was dumb. 

" Ah...Nevermind"

" No, tell me! It's okay" he smiled, hand reaching out to gently stroke along the taller's arm, before the oven beeped, indicating enough heat.

"Let's put the cookies in the oven first" 

Letting his eyes linger on the other's frame, while he took care of everything, Baekhyun honestly didn't expect to be suddenly pulled close, chest to chest with their noses almost touching, the moment he looked up. 

" Baekhyun-ah, do you want to dance with me?" 

It felt like a deja vu, knowing their first date carried the same memory of them together, just like now. 

His arms immediately wrapped around Chanyeol's middle, while they stumbled into the living room, feet sliding over the wooden floor. 

Swaying slowly from side to side, Baekhyun leaned his head against the other's chest, ears picking up the quick rhythm of his heart, a smile ghosting over his lips. 

That was until he was suddenly twirled around and carefully leaned backwards, a strong hand around his waist while the other one stroked his cheek and moved the hair away from his eyes. 

" You are ridiculous" Baekhyun giggled, more than comfortable to be taken care of so tenderly, before their lips met in a soft kiss, his own hand moving up to gently hold Chanyeol's face as well, thumb drawing circles on his skin. 

It felt like time was suddenly unimportant with the snow falling onto the streets slowly, the only thing interrupting them being the loud beeping of the oven, indicating that they spent the last twenty minutes adoring each other. 

Laughing at their behavior, he helped Chanyeol with the cookies before they moved to the couch, warm blankets wrapped around them, food bowl in between them, while Baekhyun tried to be as close as possible. 

His legs were laying over the taller's thighs, head resting on his shoulder while he munched on the still warm cookies, movie on TV uninteresting because he had something more mesmerizing right beside him. 

Hours could have gone by like this, wouldn't it have been for the clock to strike twelve, Chanyeol quite literally jumping up to bring over the small gift he had seen earlier. 

" I know we could have waited until tomorrow morning, but I want to do this now. I want you to open this" 

Heart beating frantically while his hands shook from the sudden nervousness and excitement, he sat up properly and smiled at his lover, thankfully taking the box into his palms. 

It was wrapped in red and gold gift wrap, a little heart on top of it with his name written on it. 

Shakily opening it up, Baekhyun honestly started to be scared about the fact that this was so meaningful, his heart hurting the slightest bit while he stared softly at the velvety box, eyes meeting Chanyeol's. 

" Open it up, it's okay" 

What met him was a rose gold necklace with a small lightning pendant on the bottom, lips quivering from the meaning of it, before focusing on his boyfriend's hand, which stroked over the cold metal. 

" Remember, I told you you struck me like lightning" he explained, fingers tenderly turning the pendant around to show a small engraved date " That was the day I realized I loved you. That my feelings weren't just a fleeting thing" 

Hearing his words and feeling the tears stream down his cheeks, it was quite hard to not be completely entranced by the fact that Chanyeol adored him so much, lips quivering from the mere fact of the situation. 

" Chanyeol-ah…"

" Hm?" 

Obvious, that he was nervous about his confession, Baekhyun wanted nothing more but to reassure him, not caring about his fate at all and instead leaping forward, careful to not tip the box over while their lips molded together gently. 

The salt of his tears mingling together between them. 

Carefully pulling away to rub his nose against the taller's, he waited several seconds, his body craving so much more than just a kiss, hands shakily holding onto Chanyeol's shoulders, before he was able to look him in the eyes, a smile plastered on his face. 

" I love you too. You're the best thing that ever happened to me" 

Words could carry a meaning, no matter the background and right now, the truth was so strong that Chanyeol also ended up crying, tears rolling over his soft cheeks leading Baekhyun to giggle. 

The movie was long forgotten, playing in the background, before the smaller carefully placed the bowl on the table and climbed into his lover's lap, fingers reaching for the necklace. 

" Can you put it on for me?" 

Continuously biting his lips while Chanyeol reached around his neck, he touched the pendant when it laid against his chest, eyes about to water again while he simply leaned forward once more, intending their kiss not to end as soon as earlier. 

✿

The simple feeling of their lips languidly moving against each other, was sending shivers down their bodies, the blankets now too much due to the temperature rising slowly. 

Baekhyun's hands were tangled in Chanyeol's hair, while the taller had his own around the smaller's waist, thumbs daring to peak under his sweater, stroking his soft skin. 

It made him gasp and pull away, their eyes both hazy and filled with need, obvious that they both wanted the same thing. 

Nevertheless, the tension was comfortable, leading Chanyeol to move his lips down the other's neck instead, pressing kisses against the tender skin, soft breathing resonating in the room while Baekhyun's hands moved down to his lover's chest. 

Feeling his muscles tense against his fingertips, he whined when the taller sucked his skin a bit harder, clothes feeling like they were just too much at this point, until their eyes met once more. 

" Bedroom?" 

Holding onto the taller, when he was picked up carefully, Baekhyun wrapped his legs around his waist, lips mingling together with Chanyeol's while they walked to the other room, the only lights guiding them being the ones on the Christmas tree. 

The mattress was cold against his back, hands were unbuttoning his pants nervously while he watched Chanyeol furrow his eyebrows, trying to focus on the task in front of him. 

The room was quite dark except the nightstand lamp, his own hands coming down to stop the taller and instead doing it himself, revealing his naked body for the first time. 

And even though he was more than embarrassed and vulnerable, he never would have thought he would feel this comfortable with someone. 

Chanyeol's eyes were moving up and down his legs, so hungrily yet soft that he couldn't avoid shivering, before using his finger to call him back between his legs, his jeans rubbing against his naked skin. 

" Can I undress you too?" he asked, waiting for the taller to nod, before pulling on his pullover, revealing his chest and perfectly sculpted abs, eyes not able to move away from admiring his body. 

They spent several minutes like that, slowly grinding against each other while their lips clashed together over and over again, turning them red and sensitive until they had to stop. 

Until it just got too much. 

Eyes on each other, Baekhyun felt the taller's hand wander between their bodies and when it touched his most sensitive part, he moaned weakly against his mouth, answering his quiet question with a soft nod. 

They didn't talk, but it was enough. 

Enough to make his whole body shake with pleasure the moment his fingers entered him one by one, one leg wrapped around Chanyeol's waist while the other one was being massaged, tender hand sliding along his thigh, over and over again. 

Moans were swallowed by hungry lips, continuously until he couldn't take it anymore, gently pushing against his lover's chest to switch their position, shakingly climbing into the taller's lap. 

The only noises were their breathing and the ripping of the condom package, the necklace reflecting the moonlight everytime Baekhyun moved the slightest. 

His slender fingers carefully pulled down Chanyeol's pants and pushed the condom over him, nervous giggles loosening the tension around them while he made sure they had enough lube, eyes soon finding his lover's while he sunk down. 

Chest against chest, they could feel the way they sweated while trying to accommodate the new position, size and feeling, fingers intertwined between them before Chanyeol wrapped his arms around Baekhyun's waist, his lips kissing all over his chest and stopping at his nipples. 

Moaning at the feel of them sucking and nibbling his chest, the smaller carefully started to roll his hips, slowly but intense with both of them sighing at the feeling, bodies so close yet not close enough. 

With every passing second they dared to move the slightest bit faster, Baekhyun's hands curling into the taller's hair while he felt Chanyeol's lips against his own, tongues dancing so tenderly that they didn't want to stop. 

And as the night passed by like a sudden wind gust, they both shared more than just a kiss, a touch, a hug. 

They shared feelings that had been built up, longing that was about to burst and love that already was as strong as their bonding seemed to be, small confessions whispered within the darkness of the room. 

✿

And as the night started to turn into morning, Baekhyun woke up abruptly, heart clenching his chest so tightly that he wasn't even able to wake up Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol who was sleeping soundly, a small smile on his lips while he held him close by the waist. 

Nevertheless the smaller had to get up, careful not to make too much noise, while his shaky legs carried him to the bathroom, emptying his stomach to the point where his throat simply started to hurt terribly, hands clenching open and closed several times. 

Knowing it was because they had bonded on a physical level as well, he honestly just wanted to cry, this curse haunting him and ruining everything he ever wanted. 

At this point he dared to risk it all, not do anything about it and just let it happen, but it also reminded him of the fact that he could die, the thought of Chanyeol ending up alone and heartbroken hurting him more than this goddamn curse could ever do. 

Trying to calm down while the pain slowly subsided, he stood up to find his balance, the fact that he was naked and covered in love bites sinking in, but not being able to make him smile. 

Especially when his eyes lingered on the necklace, tears threatening to drop down his cheeks once more, love so big that he didn't want to let go of it, deciding to risk everything until he would no longer be able to do so anymore. 

✿

Baekhyun let days turn into weeks and then months, without talking about it or even mentioning the smallest thing to Chanyeol. 

He knew his fate, he knew what he would have to expect if their relationship ever came to an end, but he refused to accept it. 

Even though, his body started to show signs of his discomfort, showed the pain that was actually living in his heart, he was not willing to give this up. 

They fell in love like a wild storm, the first time Baekhyun truly felt comfortable in someone else's embrace. 

He didn't care if they only were together for a short amount of time, because no matter how much moments they shared, the love was only able to grow instead of lessen. 

Even though, he wanted to keep this whole farce up, wanted to do it as long as possible, he also noticed that Chanyeol saw the changes, that he worried, that he wanted to talk. 

And even if he tried to ignore everything, fate would find him sooner than later. 

✿

Life truly was cruel sometimes, especially when it came to love. 

They had fallen for each other like a heavy downpour that came crashing down out of the blue, their feelings and love so strong that sometimes, both of them were scared of doing something wrong. 

Still, there was something between them that was untouchable, something that left Chanyeol to wonder if they would be okay, forever. 

Love could be there one day, but gone the other.

Even if Chanyeol realized Baekhyun was trying to hide something, he decided to let it go. 

Let it pass for a month or two, until they were close to their half a year anniversary, not wanting to force him to talk. 

It started to be harder to ignore though, because even though the smaller did not mention it, Chanyeol noticed his weight loss, he noticed the dark circles under his eyes and every time they kissed, he noticed the tiredness that actually threatened to take over. 

Knowing it could have been work that was stressing him out, he had let it slide, but now, holding the smaller close while they spooned in bed, he simply couldn't avoid his brain making up several scenarios that all ended terribly. 

With love came great responsibility, the need to protect the one you fell for, to take care of them. 

A craving so strong that it made his heart ache with unshed emotions.

His lips kissed Baekhyun's neck over and over again, knowing it calmed him down immensely, while his hands stroked over his stomach and waist, humming a low tune he had picked up on the radio.

Not one but two blankets were wrapped around them, the other's body freezing even more these days and maybe that was the thing that made Chanyeol want to speak up, his lips stopping against his ear. 

" My love, what is wrong? I have noticed your behavior and the way you changed. Are you willing to talk to me?" 

Thinking it would take Baekhyun some time to speak up, he didn't expect him to suddenly burst out in tears, sobs so heavy that it made his own heart ache in pain, giving the smaller the space he needed to turn around and hide in Chanyeol's chest. 

" Baekhyun-ah?" 

" I-I didn't tell you something…"

Thoughts running wild once more, he thought about the worst, hands shaking heavily from the fear of it being the truth, but trying to keep his calm in order to listen to his lover. 

" My family, everyone of us has been suffering from a curse, one that truly is heart-wrenching and evil. I didn't want to tell you, in case you laugh at me" 

" A curse?" he asked, logically being confused while his head wanted to refuse the fact of it being true. Seeing Baekhyun's gaze though, he could sense his fears and honesty, body shivering with fear. 

" A first love. We cannot have that" 

" What do you mean?" 

Giving the smaller some space, to be able to sit up, he let his gaze wander over his body and face, truly scared of the fact that he seemed so drained and unrecognizable. 

" The curse is casted upon our hearts. The first time we fall for someone, it will appear, it will rip us apart to the point we will die, if we don't do anything against it" 

And truly, the prospect of death made Chanyeol panic, heart beating so fast that he couldn't control his tears from rolling down his cheeks. 

" D-Death?" 

" Yes, only if we don't do anything against it but, Chanyeol-ah… I..I can't do it" Baekhyun suddenly sobbed, body shaking from the force of his tears. 

It left the taller, to reach for one of their blankets, wrapping it around his lover's shoulders once more, while his hands cupped his cheeks, just trying to comfort Baekhyun in the best way possible. 

" Why?" 

" I need to break your heart to save my own. I can't do that, I don't want to lose you" 

Tears were shed like a heavy downpour and even if his words sounded foreign and weird, Chanyeol sensed the honesty which only scared him more. 

Eyes hurting way too much from the crying. 

" What, What happens if you break my heart?" 

The brief silence between them was able to tell him more than a thousand words, eyes immediately finding Baekhyun's when he looked up. 

" You will forget about me. About everything we experienced and shared together. Everyone that has known about our relationship won't be able to remember"

It was as if a thousand pieces of glass shot through his chest, pain and sadness so strong that Chanyeol ended up sobbing as well, knowing that if he wouldn't do it, he would end up dying.

Both of those things felt surreal but even if their love was strong, even if Chanyeol could not imagine his life without the smaller, he absolutely couldn't process the fact that he would disappear from this world the other way around. 

Which ultimately left him to press a kiss on Baekhyun's lips, one so powerful and strong with emotions that it made him cry even more, whispering against his lips. 

He knew, with that information he would not want to spent a day more with Baekhyun suffering, in pain or crying. Watching him fall apart because of selfishness. 

Their love was so big and intense, that he was willing to give everything up, if that meant he would be able to protect then one that was most precious in his heart. 

Their relationship was still young, still fresh, but there was no way in hell Chanyeol would have risked more years together only to lose what he adored the most. 

A curse always had been something he had read in books as a child, never would he have thought though, to suffer from one someday.

"Break my heart Baekhyun-ah. I cannot imagine a world without you, but the mere thought of you disappearing and no longer being in reach for me absolutely destroys me. No matter the circumstances, the day, the time, I will find you again and I will fall in love with you as hard as I did the first time. There is simply no way I would ever be able to love someone as much as I love you "

Spilling his heart's content to the smaller, it was even harder than before, to see him cry so terribly loud and strong, body convulsing from the way his breathing cut short. 

But all Chanyeol could do was reach for the other's hands, rubbing them gently. 

" Don't be scared Baekhyun-ah. I will never leave you. It's impossible" 

" Still, I'm scared. I'm simply so scared of losing what we have, losing you and the possibility to kiss you, touch you and love you" Baekhyun cried, lips quivering, eyes red and swollen, before the taller reached forward to cup his face once more. 

Their feelings, so strong that it was harder to continue talking about it instead of just ending it. 

" I don't want to watch you fall apart and hurt yourself, I don't want to lose you in a way I won't be able to find you again. Do this for me. For you and for me, okay? I trust you so much but I cannot handle one more day of your condition getting worse" 

There was a brief quietness between them, thoughts sinking in as well as words, while Chanyeol was able to see the slight shift in Baekhyun's eyes, knowing, no matter what, he would find him again. 

At least, until his cheeks were cupped and lips were pressed against his, the salt of tears on his tongue the moment his lover had pulled away again, eyes focusing on the smaller's, while fate found them faster than he had wanted. Found them when they were at the peak of their love. 

Ripped them apart like a strong force that did not want them to be together, but nevertheless the hope in his heart was strong and he sincerely prayed for it to stay. 

" Chanyeol-ah. I don't love you anymore" 

✿

Three Months Later

Spring was beautiful. 

Watching the flowers grow and ready to bloom, seemed like a restart, both for the earth and people. 

For Baekhyun though, it was the start of his heartache to finally subside, the pain he had gone through to no longer drag him down, the thought of finally doing what he wanted to do feeling real. 

Their relationship had forcefully been short lived, intense to the point he truly felt like he would never love anyone as much. Still, he knew he had to make space for the future, for new feelings to come.

Walking across the streets, towards a Café, he unwrapped the scarf around his throat the moment he stepped inside, rose golden necklace dangling on his tender neck while he stepped closer to the counter. 

Eyes searching for the workers, while his heart beat wildly, hope being way bigger than the pain he had felt could ever be. 

The music in the background was soft and calm when their eyes finally met, lips curving up in a smile while he witnessed the tall man throwing a coffee over himself, white button up ruined with stains, cheeks tinted so red that Baekhyun honestly started to giggle. 

" H-Hi, um, I'm sorry, I will be there for you in a minute, just…" 

" Take all the time you need" he replied, eyes not once leaving the taller's frame while he tried to clean up his shirt, soon being met with the softest expression he ever witnessed. 

" Hello, again, can I serve you a coffee?" 

" A iced caramel macchiato, please" he replied, watching the other's eyes linger on his necklace for some more seconds, a soft smile never leaving his lips, before they looked at each other again. 

" It is a beautiful accessory. Does the lightning have a meaning?" 

Heart skipping a beat at the question, he nodded his head softly, trying sincerely not to tear up while touching the pendant with shaky fingers. 

" Yes it does have a meaning, one that is not ready to be voiced out just yet, but I can tell you…It means the world to me" he replied, briefly biting his lips to control his emotions while witnessing the other man smiling at him, eyes so soft, expression so tender. 

" I will gladly listen then, when you're ready" 

Watching him leave to prepare his coffee, Baekhyun let his eyes linger on his frame, taking in every detail he had missed the last few months, heart beating so wildly that he was unable to hear the music and chattering in the Café. 

And it was in that moment, with Chanyeol walking over to him, coffee in his hands and the brightest smile plastered on his face, that he knew, love truly was able to conquer everything and he was more than ready to fall for him again. 

Fall for the one who had loved him so raw and beautiful that it left a longing only he would be able to fill.

~ The End ~

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!  
> You made it this far ❤️  
> I hope you don't cry? If you do I will dry your tears.  
> Thank you for reading my story and I would love to hear your thoughts ❤️❤️


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